If Only Daddy Knew
by Pyrefly deactivated
Summary: Draco has a secret, he doesn't want anyone to know. He gets sent to Snape's house, what happens when the alam goes off and his enemy steps into his life? (One shot) (A re-post) SLASH


**A/N Implied Slash, yes some slashy parts, but nothing to bad. **

**If Only Daddy Knew **

If only daddy knew indeed. He would never understand and I knew that. He hated the fact about how much I played with myself, but I would never tell him who about. He wanted to kill me for that, but like I care. It all began when I had been in the shower one morning, remembering an odd dream that concerned this 'boy', yes he is a boy not a girl or in fact a man. He was just a boy, same age as myself and I never had the courage to tell my father about this 'boy' he surely thought it was some girl. Most likely thought Pansy... heh... like I'd lower my standers for her- the Slytherian Whore. No this boy was above my standers, and I couldn't help but fantasize about him all summer. I love him. I swear I love him. But he was never the gay type...  
  
Ahh yes I am Draco Malfoy, and this 'boy' I'm talking about is... well you can probably guess with everything I'm about to tell you.

I had regretted saying those things on the train, I sounded like a heartless bastard, but ten again I have to keep my 'bad ass' reputation. But it pained me to say it... after all he had just lost his only some-what family. I had no family- or rather I HAVE no family. Family is someone who cares about you. And I have not one person.  
  
My Goonies have abandoned me, after all they weren't getting paid anymore with my father in prison. My mum was just as cold hearted as my father. I hated all my relatives. Except one. Severus Snape. He was- or is my God Father, after Lucius had gone into prison he was the only one who had cared, little as it might have been he still cared more than anyone else. He had told me that I was to spend the summer with him because mother didn't want me. It's sad when your own mother hates to see you.

That's when it got weird... I was living in the only guest room when alarms went off, and immediately I heard Snape yell, "Number 4 Private Drive." And a green light illuminated the room, I fallowed in suit. And there it was, Harry Potter sitting in the corner of the living room, crying. My fantasy man, yes I said FANTASY MAN, on the floor sobbing.

They all looked at the Boy, and his bleeding wrists, but I was the first to speak, "What the fuck are you doing Potter? Trying to kill yourself, not a very Gryffindore thing now is it?" I wanted to sound like I cared, but it came out cold and unwelcoming.

"I don't care, just everyone leave me the fuck alone!" Harry ran into the bathroom, I ran after him and as he shut the door I put my foot in its way. Then I walked in. He shut it and locked it. My heart was racing I just wanted to take my cloths off and ravish him right then and there, but I knew that I would be moving a bit to fast, and he'd be the Boy-Who-Cried-Rape... So I just stood there, trying to keep my excitement under control. We stood in silence until he began to speak, "Why are you even here Malfoy?" He spat my name out like it was a sour skittle and I felt a bit hurt... and taken back.

"I... I... don't know why..." I sat down on the edge of the tub and he moved over and sat next to me, I felt different at that time. But I knew not to advance. "Harry..." I had used his first name; I didn't want to do that. I had set myself up for disappointment, "Err... I was wondering what's wrong?" He turned his face away and muttered something I couldn't hear. "Can you repeat?"

"I said... everything... and why are you being so nice to me Malfoy." I felt rejection settle in, and I could tell by him confused expression that I had showed my hurt, but as always soon covered it up with my- as the Gryffindore's put it- 'Mask of ice' back on. I had always found that funny, it reminded me of 'Mask of Zorro' it was some Muggle movie my mother had made me watch, of course when my father found out about it... he was quite upset. But I don't want o dwell on the past. The past is past and you can never do anything about it, unless you have a time-turner. Which I don't have... I looked into his eyes; they were a duller green than usual. He had obviously been thinking that the death of Sirius had been his fault. But I couldn't blame him; it was in a way his fault no matter how much everyone denied it, if he could have learned damn oclumancy he would have saved his poor Godfather. But he didn't. Ooh how I know this you ask, lets just say... heh... Snape was angry when our golden boy looked into his pensive. I wish I could have seen that, that would have been great, he wouldn't tell me what the pensive had in it, just that Harry had seen it. I asked him why he was even in there and he told me, he then swore me to secrecy not to tell a soul. And I didn't tell anyone.

Figuring Potter needed a good laugh I asked, "What was in that damn pensive? You had Snape going on for days, hell he's still on it." That made him laugh, and I smiled. He told me what was in it, and I laughed, I just couldn't help it. Sure it was my favorite teacher, but hell that was some funny shit, but then again I am supposedly cold hearted so who knows right? I began to make the great Boy-Who-Lived forget all his problems, soon he was laughing and smiling. I couldn't help but grin. I made Harry Potter happy, and that's all that mattered to me.

Soon we both stood up, we had been in there for ages now, and suddenly he pulled me into a hug, I smiled a toothy grin and he laughed. "You look good when you smile, a lot better than smirks. But it looks kinda weird... I've never seen you smile before." I sneered and he laughed, I love making him laugh. That's when we went outside, and that's when it hit me, like an anvil on the head, I didn't know what Harry was crying about. Harry walked out not noticing the fact that I was trying to ask him a question. Everyone gave us questioning looks; I couldn't help but feel horrid. We didn't even talk about the problem at hand. Him. I was to trying to get him calm and to smile that I forgot to talk about it, why he tried to kill himself.

He walked past everyone and I said good bye, but I didn't want to leave. Like he could read minds he asked me, "Do you want to stay here? I'm sure my Uncle won't... never mind... he would mind." With that he sighed, and walked up the stairs. T pained me to see him like that. All I wanted to do was swear to him that I wanted to keep him company, cry to him that I wanted to hear all he had to say. But a Malfoy doesn't beg, and I am- or was still a Malfoy at the time.

I walked over to the fireplace, and told Snape I wanted to leave. He took out some floo powder and gave it to me. I'm sure everyone could se my hurt, but I didn't care, for I now considered myself not a Malfoy. I didn't want to be a Malfoy anymore. I wanted to be... who knows? Just Draco. Yes that's it, I wanted to be just Draco. No last name. I wanted a new life I could never get, I wanted a childhood, something I could never have. I wanted to be Draco the Boy-Who-Changed. And that's what I was fro then on. The Boy-Who-Changed.

I was walking around Snape's house when a voice came from down stairs, "Hello?" It was Harry. I raced downstairs and there he was, in all his glory (A/N No he was not naked, I know it can be taken that way, but he wasn't) I smiled. Something I had been doing a lot of lately, after all I was not A Malfoy anymore so what did it mater right? I said hello and that's when Snape came bustling down.

"What are you doing here?" Snape hissed, I leaned over and whispered, "I told you he was still going on about the pensive incident." Harry busted out laughing, I tried to surpress a giggle, but it came out as a low moan. They both looked at me, I simply said, "Sorry... I err... tried to hold in a... sneeze?" That made Harry laugh even more. I grined, and Snape raised an eyebrow.

"I there something I should know, Draco?" I shook my head, but a blush crept up onto my face. He raised his other eyebrow, and turned to Harry. "So what are you doing here?" This made Harry stop laughing, he just put his head down, it was obviously something bad. I couldn't resist. I slipped my arm around Harry in a protective way, Harry looked up wide-eyed. I just smiled innocently, and he let me keep my arm there.

I was expecting rejection, but he just turned to Snape, "I... got... I got... err..." Harry said his eyes looking to the floor. I leaned over my lips brushed over his ear lobe and I spoke a soft airy whisper, "Tell him, Harry." I could tell he had got an erection from this because he blushed a deep shade of crimson and placed his hands in front of his groin area very quickly.

His voice wavered in pitch with his next words, "I- I mean I... got kicked out... sir..." I smirked and Snape lifted one of his eye brows, yet again (A/N he put them down earlier- he doesn't have 3!! ) and nodded. "I had no where else to go."

"The Weasly's would have SURELY taken you in." Harry's face fell with the mention of his friends names. I was unsure of what that meant at the time, but I was sure that it wasn't something good.

"I err... rather not talk about that, after all they... they are the ones that... I don't want to talk about it." Harry turned his face away, I felt a cold tear fall onto my hand. I felt bad for the boy. After all he's been though and now this. I wanted to kill the Weasly's now worse than ever. They hurt Harry. I pulled the boy closer and hugged him. That's when Snape turned to leave, unhappy about the arrangements, but knowing Dumbledore would kill him if he said no.

"Harry, tell me. Please." The boy in my arms collapsed into my arms crying, I picked him up, he was like a feather in my arms. I picked him up and carried him into my room. I saw the cot laid out, but placed him on my bed. I cradled him in my arms. "Shh... it's okay, Harry just calm down. It's okay." Harry calmed down a bit, and blushed he mumbled thanks and an apology. "No reason to apologize, dear." I mentally kicked myself for calling him dear.

Later on when I was trying to get to sleep, I heard him taking uneven breaths; I sat up and said, "Harry? Are you ok?" No reply, I walked over and saw that he had tears flowing down his face, and I gasped. He had a razor blade on the bed and was cutting his skin. "Harry, No!" I grabbed the blade and he begged for it back, I couldn't help it, but I started to cry. "No... no Harry... You can't." I cried even more, as I saw his wrist bleed out onto the sheets. I grabbed his wrist to stop it, and I succeeded, I threw the blade out the window, and still crying I walked back to my bed.

And little did I know that my last words would be this, "Harry please don't, I... I love you." I heard nothing but the uneven breaths. That's when I started to cry even more, it wasn't a lot, but it was a steady stream of tears. I fell asleep to the sound of Harry's ragged breath.

The next morning I woke up, I saw Harry laying motionless onto his side, not breathing. "No..." I began to say, "NO!" I ran over, he had scratched the scab off. I began to cry uncontrollably, grabbing onto the note he had written. 7 words were scribbled, smeared by tears and, blood was slightly visible on it.

"I love you Draco, I'm sorry. Harry"

This shattered my world. I sobbed even more now, ad the world seemed to go into slow motion. Snape came slowly running in, as well as Dumbledore. They tried to revive the Boy-Who-Lived, but couldn't.

And that's when I stopped living. I never wanted to be a Malfoy, and now I don't even want to be Draco.

If I open my eyes

The lost child cries

Will I wake?

Lost

The dreaded crimson flows

All the forbidden blows

I'm left rejected

Forbidden

Lost in a sea of darkness

Forgotten and loneliness

Never be the same

Forgotten

I am all alone

Dead and gone

Never the same

Dead

The End

A/N Sad yes?

Don't own, just use.  
  
No flamers, this was just to get out my sadness. I'm all alone now and I'm sad about that vv Yes I wrote the poem, can you tell? Is it bad? I was never a good poet, but I figured I'd try!! WHOA this is pretty long!!


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